I've been divorced for 3 years, and have been casual dating ever since. Not looking for anything serious. In the last 7 months my symptoms have gotten worst. More doc visits, more hosp. stays. I had to quit my job and go on disabilty. One of the first things that someone ask you is, "What do you do for a living?" I'm not going to lie. I tell them my situation. The next day you get the phone call, " I just can't go threw this with you." Wow! We just went out to dinner, I never asked anyone to go threw any thing with me. Is anyone out there dating? What has been your experience?
It has been my experience that less is more. I am presently stable, and working. It is hard to determine when the best time to tell someone that you have PSC. However, maybe you should come up with a creative answer with the employment question until you get to know people better. Because we all just want to hang out with someone and have a good time. I don't think in the beginning that everyone should know everything. I respect your honesty and I understand why want to be open and honest with people. It has been my experience that they just cannot handle it.
Hi Mary, I was going to say something similar to 21Star. We're so used to just being able to talk about where we work, what we do, and it's an adjustment to just know you aren't working, are on disability, and have PSC. So, you can say just about anything at this point, but I wouldn't start with The Stark Truth. In a way, it's kind of a crappy way for someone to start a real conversation anyway - what do you do? So, who are you? And what work did you do? You're just taking a break, right? just don't know for how long. I suggest sitting down with a good friend and trying out some different starters and some creative and less informative answers to that question about work. 21Star is right - "we all just want to hang out with someone and have a good time." I hope you keep working on this because you sound like a nice person worth getting to know. Let us know what you come up with! -Dana
Thank you for your input. I guess I'll just hang out with my cat for a while. There are so many things that they just don't cover on The Lifetime channel.
Hello Mary. I've been seeing my fiance for about 6 years now and its been tough to say the least. I've hung on strongly through the hospital visits, emotional roller coasters and now the financial burdens. He had a hard time opening up to me about his PSC, simply telling me he had a 'stomach condition'. Coming from the other side of the road, his casually gracing the health issue and keeping me in the dark as fear I would run was not the right way to handle the issue. It was very scary the first time I saw the jaundice set in and he hospitalized - happy one year anniversary honey. He was embarrassed and felt I would leave now seeing what skeletons were coming out of the closet. I'll admit it was very intense and as a 21 year old, sickness was very new to me. Seeing how vulnerable and emotionally weak he was at the time made me want to help him so, I dedicated myself to him more so after that. I would have much rather appreciated the truth and respected the matter more so though had he told he up front. I am very forceful in becoming a part of his condition and educating our friends and family, it has strengthened us for the fight he makes daily. He had always tip toed around the subject of telling people. Now, we tell people with pride, yes there is a ugly disease in his body, but we are beautiful people fighting it and we'll be OK. Speaking boldly about PSC without shame spreads the word more so than whispers. He is 100% more comfortable with the subject now. We have a buddy that also is going through your situation, trying to date while fighting a disease. We encourage him to tell the truth without fear, the right woman will want to hear his story and align herself with him when he is ready. Conversation goes along the lines of, her: 'what do you do for a living?' him: 'i am an operations transit director by trade, however at the moment ive stepped away from my position to better handle my condition of xxx. It keeps me busy. How about you?' The conversation flows, he goes on second dates quite often. He is not looking for serious commitment as he is also a single father. His daughter is first and his condition comes second, anything else can fit in after that. When the women pry for more details, he shares: yes, he goes in to the hospital, yes he takes medications, but he describes himself as a fine vehicle that needs constant upkeep and maintenance. Joking takes the pressure off for him. Confidently he takes on dating and his condition. Apologies for the SUPER LONG response. Hope it helps though. Good luck with cupid! ;)