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Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) - Online Support Group

How to cope with partner who does not understand!


#1

I am finding relationships with girlfriends, difficult due to the energy required to catch-up for coffee...however, Im more concerned regarding my personal relationship with a disengaged male partner, who just ignores me...the closeness has disappeared since weve lived together, mainly because sometimes I look yellow, and rough..Im blonde and normally attractive etc, but I dont think he understands the energy it takes to shower, do my long hair, and housework...he just sits at the computer and chews his nails!!!! When in hospital there was not any closeness he sat at the end of the bed, possibly - its not fair to involve him in all of the liver complications, so if anyone can chat about this it would be nice..at least my dog loves me...Cassie


#2

I am getting married in two weeks and he has been incredibly supportive but the day to day frustrates him at times. He’s an active hyper person so when I tell him I’m tired he assumes it’s the tired he feels. Tired vs fatigued is very different.
It is scary to love someone and not be your full self. I know sometimes I am more sensitive and feel unloved even when he responds in a typically normal male fashion.
Don’t be ashamed to talk openly about your feelings. I know it’s hard not to bring it up, but honesty is always best. Don’t take everything personally, but don’t live in the dark either.


#3

Stephen you always have excellent advice.
Cassie I’m sorry you’re experiencing
This. Honesty is the best policy.
Emily you are a lucky girl. It’s great to have support.
AJ


#4

Hi Cassie,

the important things have been said already.

If he doesn't know about your liver problem, it's highest time to tell him. describe your fatigue very drastically! That you are totally "switched off", that feeling that fatigue tells you that you are not yet dead ... lesser words might be interpreted as just being very tired.

If he does know and behaves ignorant consider him not being the right partner for you.

regards and all the best for you

Rippi


#5

hi there, Thankyou so much for the replies to my situation. I have spoken to my friend on several occasions and because I have depression seem to curl up in my bed quite a lot, also do not have energy to go out and about sometimes...Most days I do a lot of work around the house, garden and care for an elderly gentleman...but the bottom line is I am alone quite a lot, because he is a poor communicator, and has never talked very much...we have spoken regarding my health prior to him moving in, however I dont seem to be getting thru re nuturing and touch, because he is focused on obtaining a Mercedes thru his internet marketing business. I understand that, but feel he is closed off 7 days a week, even when we are sitting at night he doesnt speak very much, and yes I am able to see all of this after writing this reply, so guess I will sort it out, -.money is not a barrier for me, but very unsure that anybody could live with me, as I have low energy. The funny thing is Iook after my appearance, - hair, skin body etc, but feel crippled by Polycystic liver and kidney complications...once again Im grlad Im on this blog as Ive had a teary morning, but that clears by 12. lol x


#6

hello, Im ok thankyou still finding it hard to get out of bed, and quite yellow, so I have an appointment on Friday with my Specialist as I am really low on iron will have an iron infusion but the main issue is blocked bile ducts - I know thay will want me to go back on the liver transplant list, but Id rather somebody else have that, as I can cope hopefully without all of that...Any how is your situation Stephen, you seem like a very decent human being,....sorry you have health issue also..How is your energy and what do you do to get yourself going in the mornings...do you drink coffee, and I guess you watch your eating too. Do you have itching, Im guessing you have complications with the bile and liver situation?


#7

Hi Cassie, just checking to see how oyu are feeling now? How did your appointment go? Did the doctors manage to help you out? Are you on the transplant list?


#8

hello Priya, Thankyou for your reply.. I had a second opinion with a Liver Transplant Specialist in Sydney, and he has given me details for a different medication for the bile...its complicated because Ive cysts (hundreds) so they cannot re-section, or do re-surfacing, but I just have to look after myself, have anti-biotics etc...After coming home from Sydney, I felt quite upset, in that my depression was very bad..But Im ok today, - just taking one day at a time..I was on the list for 3 years, however things had improved, however Im getting infections consistently. However I hope you are doing well, I find it interesting talking to others regarding this disease...Im doing a lot of research on alkaline diets at the moment...keep well, hang in there everyone!