Hello everyone. I have a new topic of discussion I want to introduce today in behalf of my wife. I know the dynamics of everyone's situation is different yet we are hopeful that there are some similarities that are common to us all.
We are from the south and here in North Carolina when someone has surgery all the family and friends head to the hospital. It's like one big family reunion at times. Although we greatly appreciate their presence some have the habit of just constantly talking which can really wear one down. There are times when my wife would just like for it to be quiet so that she can rest, pray or meditate as I'm in this long 8-10 hour surgery. But we don't want to offend these well meaning friends and family because we know they are genuinely concerned for our family as we go through this very delicate and life-changing surgery.
Do any of you have some thoughts or suggestions that would help us? Thanks.
I did not know that about the south. How about let everyone know in advance that it would be great to have company for a little while (or at whatever intervals are your wife's preference) but beyond that she simply needs be alone. Both your wishes and your wife's are of primary importance here and should be respected by all well-meaning family and friends. Perhaps appoint one person you can rely on who will remind those who may be inclined to forget or ignore your wishes.
Thanks Alix for the suggestion. This is such a delicate matter, even something like this would have to be handled like walking on eggs. While us southerners are very hospitable, some of us can be so easily offended as well. I don't necessarily want her to be there alone, but to just have some peace and quiet instead of the constant jabbering. If I get a call from my second transplant center for the donation they are 3 hours away so the crowd will not be as large. And when I say crowd I don't mean 100 people, just maybe 15 or 20 most likely. But even that can be taxing on a spouse as she waits to see if her husband lives or dies. We are hopeful though for a good outcome!
I thought about your conundrum. Most hospitals have a chapel. The chapel is your friend. Have your wife sneak off to the chapel. If the entourage follows, they will need to be quiet in the chapel. If they stay in the waiting room, they can be tasked with informing your wife at the chapel if anything in your status changes.
That's an excellent suggestion Lara. I will have to find out how close the chapel is to the surgical waiting room. Thank you.